We are leaving Siwa in approximately 24 hours and I can’t believe the last month has already come and gone. I feel changed in ways I don’t fully comprehend yet, but I know something has awoken within me.
There is a story that unfolded here thousands of years ago, when measured by human years that is, a story of love and betrayal, the oldest story in the book of such a tale as this. The type that became a classic, an echo expressed again and again in slightly different ways. A violent shock so great, its ripples were felt for an age. And it all unfolded here, in this little known, yet perhaps the most powerful of energy spots on the planet.
This story began coming to me in visions and dreams years before I had ever heard of Siwa or knew anything about the myths surrounding this place, myths that I am discovering are confirming my memories, weaving together the threads of what was once almost forgotten.
I touched on this story in my previous posts about my first time in Siwa, when mum and I visited without the other Crooks. If you are interested, check them out. You’ll find them several posts back.
One day I will tell her story in full but I don’t have all the pieces yet. The puzzle is almost complete but I know there is still more to unfold, I feel it in my bones, I feel it in the air around me. I know I have been called here for a reason and that reason is entangled with her. Or perhaps with them, after all, there were two protagonists in this story, two sides to the coin.
“It takes two to tango,” Nagy explained to Adel, “do you know what that means? It’s an English expression.”
“No”
“It means that you are a team and you two work well together,” he explained, talking about the medicine work we did in the salt pools with his sister Nahla. For some reason he insists we need to work together.
It takes two to tango. So far, my story has been entangled with hers but I suppose it is only natural that at some point I will have to touch on his, otherwise how will I fully understand what happened. All perspectives have to be witnessed and integrated, all sides have to be loved back into wholeness, so it makes sense and I wonder why I haven’t thought of it before.
This evening, we managed to catch the remnants of the sunset from the sacred mountain. The sky was ablaze with colour as the car topped the dune between the two main sections of the mountain and we jumped out eager to witness the passing of another beautiful day.
“Let’s go to the temple!” I exclaimed. I hadn’t expected to be on the mountain again and it seemed like the perfect gift before leaving. In fact, the perfect end to the medicine work we began in the desert a couple of nights ago.
“Where is it? Is it far?” mum asked, unsure of our direction from this side of the mountain. She is always unsure of where we are.
“No, it’s just down there. Let’s go!”
We trudged down, our feet sinking in the sand and I felt a distinct feeling of familiarity, as if we had done this before long ago. The temple is carved into the mountain, literally chipped away piece by piece, with three roughly angular columns on either side of a hole in the ground leading to a small chamber at the bottom.
The locals call this place an unfinished tomb, like the other larger one higher up but this place feels like a temple to me and it feels old, much older than the other one. It may well have been repurposed as a tomb but I’m sure that wasn’t its original purpose. Of course, I have no proof about this but so far, my intuition has been pretty on point and I trust it.
We paused outside the doorway and looked into the deepening shadows within. The air inside seemed to shimmer and sway as if I was looking into a portal through to another world. Finally, I felt the ok to enter and was immediately drawn to the back of the right-side corridor of the temple. This was the side where I saw the little, man-like creature coming out of the walls, which had transformed into a vibrant, psychedelic jungle (again, see previous posts).
Sitting in front of the wall, I placed a hand on the pillar to my left and my right hand on the wall in front and I began to sing. With my voice echoing around the cave my hands began to pulse on my palms, as if I was feeling the heartbeat of the mountain beating through the stone. The music flowed effortlessly from my soul, a slow lament, almost a calling that sweetly reverberated around the space, penetrating deep into the stone.
Suddenly, in my inner vision I saw a cavern deep in the earth, under the mountain. It was a massive cave filled with a pale blue light. On a huge stone in the middle of the cave, a dragon slept. The sound of my singing wove its way like incense through the tunnels and rocks of the mountain until the edges of it found their way to the cave where the dragon dreamt of who knows what.
As the sound hit the dragon, its eyes opened in a startled flash and I was surprised to see the dragon had blue eyes with yellow speckles around the pupil. Familiar eyes, my eyes.
Recognising my song the dragon leapt to its feet and frantically began to follow the sound of my voice.
“Follow my voice,” I sang in some other, unfamiliar language, “follow my voice and come to me. Come and be free”
The dragon half snorted half roared a sound of frustration as it clawed at the stone tunnels to get to me. I wasn’t afraid. It didn’t feel bad or as if the dragon wanted to “get” me. It felt like a deep love connection, a much longed for reunion. I sang and I called and I waited for the dragon to come as eager as it for us to be reunited.
But before it could get to me, the vision faded as my mum came to stand behind me at the top end of the corridor. I could hear her feet scuff on the rocks and it broke through my concentration.
It was almost there, the dragon, it had almost reached me and its roar of frustration echoed in my ears. Just before the vision faded, I saw a doorway open in the stone wall and I was reaching my hand forward into the doorway but then – poof, it all vanished. That’s ok, these things happen and always do for a reason. I’ve been having these experiences for so long now that I trust the process and divine timing but that doesn’t mean I’m not restless with questions.
Who is the dragon? Is it a part of me that is being awakened here in the desert. Is it part of her? I know there is still work for us to do here with her story but I don’t know what and I’ve been waiting to be shown. Could this be it?
Or is it part of him? This is the first time the thought of him has come into my awareness and I’m intrigued. Does he have a bigger part to play in the story than I originally thought? Is there something there that I need to also look at?
I’m reminded of something that came through when I was in the King’s chamber last year. Or was it after Sekhmet visited me on the boat? (Again, look back to old posts for these stories) There was some message that I received about a masculine energy buried in a mountain and I have to set him free. I wish I could remember all the details. I know I wrote it down somewhere, probably in my book but the book is downstairs and its five o’clock in the morning and I don’t want to wake anyone up by opening our creaky door.
Yes, I’ve been awake since three o’clock, tossing and turning, until I finally realised that rather than lie here thinking about all of this, I could be writing about it. And perhaps, writing about it will give me some clues. So, I got up and have been tapping away for the last hour and a half in the stillness of the house. Even the dogs outside seem to be quiet.
The message of the man in the mountain came through before I even knew about Siwa and I remember feeling really confused at the time. I do remember that the mountain was far away over the desert, because I remember something flying towards me over the endless sand, like an eagle soaring but much larger. I remember thinking it was weird it had to travel so far when there were mountains near the Nile where I was at the time.
I remember being full of questions. What mountain? What man is this? And should I be releasing him if he was purposefully buried in a mountain? All very pertinent questions. And then I promptly filed away the experience and forgot about it, until now.
Until now.
Tomorrow, we leave for Cairo and then go on to Luxor for a week where we will visit the temples over this auspicious time of the eclipse. Perhaps back there, where I first received the message, something will happen, some other piece of the puzzle will fall into place. Or will I have to wait until I return to Siwa?
I have so many unanswered questions, yet I do know that something is shifting in the world, in my world. The dragon has awoken and it knows I am close. And I can’t help but wonder, what will happen when it is released?
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